At last, I've got the whole shebang working. Please don't ask me how I did it -- I have no idea. I just mucked about until it started looking OK.
I may still post something worthwhile today, but I've wasted so much time on these technical issues yesterday and today that I probably won't do much for the next few hours.
[UPDATE -- I just noticed I lost all my old comments, the "email this post" option, and my ability to quick edit. *weeps uncontrollably*]