Cell phones in class

This really doesn't have anything to do with the life of the nuos, but a friend insisted that I blog on this subject.

Naturally, I hate cell phones in class, so I have developed a couple of methods of dealing with them:

If a cell phone rings, I insist the student give it to me, then I answer it. I generally come up with a cock-and-bull story for the person on the other line, such as claiming that I am the jealous lover of the student who wants to know who would be calling my "snookums," or that the student has been called away on a secret mission for the government, or that I am the personal secretary for the student who is now screening the calls to keep the riff-raff out. Generally speaking, the student is so embarrassed that neither he nor his fellow classmates risks allowing their cell phone to ring in class again.

If the student hangs up first, or if the student is annoyingly playing with the cell phone, distracting the class with a beeping Solitaire game, I have a couple of other methods. One is to call one of my friends or relatives on their phone and discuss some pointless issue. This method, however, cannot be used too much as it is limited to the friends and relatives whose numbers I know by heart and who will be home in the middle of the day. The second method (and up until now, my usual one), is to call some random person in that student's phone book and complain about how they are using their cell phone in class. This method works at its very best if there is a phone book entry that reads "Mom." Oh, yes ... they don't like it when I call their mothers on their own phones to complain that they are playing with their cell phone in class.

Last week, though, I hit upon a new method when I confiscated a camera phone. This time, I took a picture of myself pointing at the phone, shouting, "Turn off your phone in class!" Then I set it as her wallpaper. The next time she flipped open her phone, she saw a deranged professor pointing at her angrily. Maybe that'll keep the phone off.