So why does USC name its team after losers? And not only that, but why did the
Trojans lose? Because they were dumb and gullible.
Though Volokh has really called damnation on his head with this one, I'll be restrained in my response, and just point out that every medieval king worth his salt traced his lineage back to Troy. They did, after all, found the Roman Empire (mythologically, anyway).
Besides, everyone knows that USC aren't the real Trojans. Troy University has the real Trojans. USC Trojans are just poseurs -- not a Hector among 'em.
There ... now I've linked the phrase "real Trojans" to Troy University's homepage three times. That ought to raise our Google profile. I've done my civic duty.