The Kinkade Code

Now that all the DaVinci Code sturm und drang is settling down, I can finally reveal that Leonardo isn't the only great artist to have hidden, occult messages in his work. Behold, the work of Thomas Kinkade, the "Painter of Light!"

So, who is the figure in the image? With his back to us, it can only be the apostle Peter, who thrice denied Christ, here turning his back on us as well. We can also see that, like Peter, the image is a fisherman, and also, like Peter, he has a penchant for wearing plaid.*

Peter here, though, is rejecting Jesus, probably mad because he had the hots for Mary Magdalene himself (I'm just guessing). Anyway, here is Peter, standing right next to a body of water, and he is refusing to walk on it! Even worse, he has tucked his pants legs into his boots, in a show of defiance -- kind of like saying, "Hey, I don't trust you to keep my pants from getting wet this close to the water." He's also wearing an ugly hat, which is a way of saying, "Hey, I'm wearing an ugly hat ... whatcha gonna do about it?"

But what's this up above him? It looks like a bright light in the sky, surrounded by dark clouds ... the wrath of the Almighty! Look out, Peter! Run, boy, run!

Of course, the rest goes without saying, but I'll belabor the patently obvious for the slow-witted out there. Obviously, Kinkade is Leonardo's heir in the Order of Scion (and their splinter group, Order of Fries With That). He is revealing to us that God hates popes, since Peter is supposably** the first pope. So, don't stand too close to any popes, or you might get zapped, because the popes keep puttin' the moves on Mary Magdalene.

Soon, I will reveal also the Norman Rockwell Code ... unless they get to me first.


*Most people don't know that Peter was a big plaid wearer. He had a line of plaid clothing second-to-none in the Galilee fashion district.
*Take that, Dr. Virago!