Warning: Non-medieval content ahead.
I am a genius. Really and truly. You don't believe me? You say you've met me, found me to be an idiot in search of a village, and that no evidence can persuade you to the contrary?
OK, I'll prove it to you. When I was in school, we used this textbook. Yes, really. And still I learned how to read. If I was confronted with the horrors of One to Grow On and still learned to read, I must be a genius. Case closed. Mensa, I'll expect my award in the mail soon.
By the way, if you really want to own one, here's one on eBay. May God have mercy on your soul, you sick, sick person.