Monday, October 24, 2011

A Very Viking Halloween

Feel like terrorizing northern Europe this Halloween? Feel like settling strange new lands to the west? I know I do!

The copy on this website selling Viking Halloween costumes sounds like it was plucked from a middle school paper on the Vikings, and liberally sprinkled with the word "fierce."

For example:
They used Longboats which allowed them to cross open seas or sail up shallow rivers to expand their conquests. Known to be highly skilled sailors the Vikings used Longboats which had both sails and oars.

Uh huh. OK, aside from the redundancy and the terrible rhetoric, how is this supposed to make me want to buy a viking costume? It isn't like any of them come with sails and oars.

Maybe I'm supposed to think, "Hmmmm, I want to go as a seafaring barbarian for Halloween this year, but I cannot choose between one who prefers oars or one who prefers sails. Wait! Look at that! The vikings used both? You had me at 'longboats!'"

So, just remember, if you're not certain who to be for Halloween, "Dress up and be Cnut the Great who was possibly the greatest Viking King who has been nicknamed the Emperor of the North."

9 comments:

  1. I think you missed their stealthy marketing idea Dr. Nokes! You are supposed to think, 'Hey! Me and all my friends can go as a BOATLOAD of Vikings!'

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  2. I think if you'd told Cnut that his imperial claims were merely a nickname you'd have wanted to have a very fast longboat very close to hand.

    ReplyDelete
  3. In addition to Vikings' style and appearance in various pictures they are always shown as long haired blonds wearing horned helmets. My history teacher said they actually wore short hair; and as for horned helmets, such kind of armor item would be rather useless and even dangerous because horns are the things that oppose blocking a sword attack.

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